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I don't know about you, but my music taste is a bit all over the place. I guess this is fitting really, as so is my head and generally my emotions too. Music is one of the ways I tend to express and control my emotions, as the "story" in the song tends to change the way I feel. I think this is useful as a coping mechanism, as it allows you to cheer yourself up or get a little of the bad out in a healthy way. Anywhoozles, here's my list. I'll try to keep it mostly positive.
1. "Kitchen Sink" - Twenty One Pilots
"Nobody thinks what I think, nobody dreams when they blink. Think things on the brink of blasphemy. I'm my own shrink. Think things are after me, my catastrophe. At my kitchen sink, You don't know what that means. Because a kitchen sink to you. Is not a kitchen sink to me, OK friend?"
I think the main thing I get from this song is that people all think differently and that that's okay. A lot of time I get lost in my own head and have to dig my way back out. I spent a lot of time soul searching and trying to sort the fears and nonsense from reality. And this song gives comfort in the fact that I am not the only one who does this, maybe you do too.
2. "Ship to Wreck" - Florence & the Machine
"And, ah, my love remind me, what was it that I said? I can't help but pull the earth around me to make my bed. And, ah, my love remind me, what was it that I did? Did I drink too much? Am I losing touch? Did I build a ship to wreck?"
One of the main issues that I feel all people who have mental health issues or even just some demons to deal with is that we tend to self destruct. I know I've done it more times than I can count. Sometimes I know I'm doing it, sometimes I don't. But again, it's reassuring but sad that others do the same thing. Being self aware is something that helps a lot with this, and if this is something you do a lot—I dare you to question why. It's difficult to be objective regarding your own actions though and accept fault, but also bare in mind that sometimes you can't help it or even know about it till it's too late. Don't hate yourself for something you can't always control.
3. "Recovery" - Frank Turner
"If you could just give me a sign, just a subtle little glimmer. Some suggestion that you'd have me if I could only make me better. Then I would stand a little stronger as I walk a little taller, all the time. Because I know you are a cynic but I think I can convince you. Yeah, cause broken people can get better if they really want to.Or at least that's what I have to tell myself if I am hoping to survive~!"
I'm undecided about how I feel regarding changing yourself for others. On the one hand, why should you? Is it even possible to fundamentally change who you are? But secondly, if you don't like who you are or if you're hurting others with who you are—then don't you have the responsibility to do a little changing to protect others from you. I mean, people go through some awful things but that doesn't give them the right to take it out on other people and self awareness is what I think stops you from doing that. Whilst getting better mentally is definitely a positive thing, I think it should be something mostly do for yourself. But if other people play a part, I guess that can only make you stronger.
4. "Devastation & Reform" - Relient K
"Fear can drive stick and it's taking me down this road. A road down which I swore I'd never go. And here I sit, thinking of God knows what, afraid to admit I might self-destruct. So lock the windows and bolt the door. 'Cause I've got enough problems without creating more."
This song speaks to the darkest side of me. The side that feeds off emotion, the negative emotions and the positive ones. I've done things I'm not proud of. I have upset people just to prove I could, or to test how much they really cared. Sometimes I just need the adrenaline rush to make me feel like I'm still alive. The majority of the time though, I didn't realise what I had done until afterwards. For a very long time I kept myself in a box, I kept people away because I was too afraid to let people get close in case they got burnt. I don't think I'm that person anymore, but it has taken a lot of time and effort not to be.
5. "What a Shame" - Shinedown
"What a shame, what a shame to judge a life that you can't change. The choir sings, the church bells ring. So, won't you give this man his wings?What a shame to have to beg you to see we're not all the same... what a shame. There's a hard life for every silver spoon, there's a touch of grey for every shade of blue. That's the way that I see life; if there was nothing wrong, then there'd be nothing right."
My perception of this song is that everyone should be accepted for who & what they are regardless of your opinion on them. This is especially true if you're unwilling or unable to help change their circumstances. In this life not one of us are the same, although a lot of us are very similar. For everyone person whose had a hard life, there's someone whose had it easy. For everyone who's rich, there's someone who's poor. And without one, the other wouldn't exist but this is the same for everything. I think society as a whole puts far too much emphasis on the differences between people as though we're not fundamentally all the same. Black, white, gay, straight, male, female, etc. we're all just human.
6. "Love, Lust & Pixie Dust" - Amy Can Fly
"I'm Peter Pan, and I don't wanna grow up. So it's a good thing that I have a plan. I'm gonna rescue all the pretty girls, escape from crocodiles and battle a pirate with a hook for a hand. I am going to do everything I always wanted. I have nothing to prove so you don't have to understand it...."
"So lend me your ears and lend me your eyes. And I'll show you the world the way I see it. So lend me your heart and lend me your smile.Because a smile's contagious; Sometimes I need it."
This song takes away reality and lets me hide in fantasy; I think that's why I love it. It's silly, fun and free. I think in this life, especially as adults, we don't really get much chance to be silly or be free. And freedom is something that's quite a relative term; what you might call freedom might not be what I'd call freedom etc. This songs makes my dreams and fantasies a little more real. If you need a song to hide from reality and bring a little joy to your life, this is the one.
7. "Hesitate" - Stone Sour
"You... were my fire, so I burned. 'Til there was nothing left of me. I... I touched your face, I held you close. 'Til I could barely breathe. Why give me hope, then give me up? Just to be the death of me. Save the rest of me. 'Cause I see you, but I can't feel you anymore. So go away. I need you, but I can't need you anymore. You hesitate."
From the fun to the terribly dark and depressing. If you've read my previous post regarding emotion and music, you'll be aware that I'm one of these people who believes sometimes you just need to feel sad. No light without dark and all that. This song is about the end of a relationship, whether romantic or not the feelings are the same really. It reminds me of a few toxic or unhealthily co-dependent relationships I've had in the past and how hard it was to let them go. But in the end, it was the right thing to do and I became stronger because of it. It also allowed me to find the right person and be comfortable with who I am when I found them.
8. "Saturday" - Kids in Glass Houses
"For your information I love my demons, 'Cause they keep me company, yeah. I've grown to love my new routine. But on my better days, better days, better days."
Whilst there are a few issues I still have with my mind and how it works, for the most part I have learnt to accept if not like who I am. I don't imagine I'd like living in anyone else's mind very much. I've grown accustomed and fond of the way I can slightly slip into my own reality to take the edge off of what is really happening. I also think if it wasn't for the fact my head is so noisy, I'd be super lonely. So yeah, I think the main reason I chose this song is that because it puts a positive spin on your quirks / issues and not everything that makes you different is necessarily a bad thing or even part of having a mental health issue.
I hope the above glimpse into my head has been entertaining if not useful. And hey, if nothing else, your music taste has improved from reading. G'day. :D