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A Dream Come True

The First Time I Met Jessie J

By Melissa Hevenor The Psychic In Your PocketPublished 5 years ago 17 min read
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(I wrote this in April, 2016)

It’s been such a long time since I felt inspired to write because my life has consisted predominately of feeling sick, going to the hospital, getting treatment and coming back feeling worse during the battle for my life. Even so, overall I’m still a happy person; I pray a lot, listen to music and use makeup to keep myself sane and inspired. I love all types of music, and music has been a part of my life since I was very little in huge way. At age five, I started taking voice lessons at the YMCA, realizing very early when I was singing that it didn’t matter that I was in a wheelchair. People saw my heart, they didn’t assume that I wasn’t intelligent, they didn’t care that I couldn’t run across the playground; they saw who I really was inside, not differences. Music helped me get through a whirlwind childhood filled with a sick mother who was a prisoner of multiple addictions. It wasn’t long before I started entering voice competitions to earn money for food and for what I called my "just in case money stash" to give me a sense of security to care for me and my sister. Those circumstances put a lot of pressure on me to succeed, but instead of concentrating on that pressure, I made it a game against myself to always keep improving.

Late at night when I couldn’t sleep because I was hungry or because my mom had not returned home, I would hold my hairbrush in my hand and pretend to be singing on stage with Whitney Houston as I belted out “Saving All My Love for You” at eight years old. Whitney Houston was what I strived to be as a singer. Fast forward to age 17, doing a voice competition in a small theater Washington D.C. I was offered a record deal. With a broken heart I turned it down because I couldn’t imagine leaving my sister and because I was a minor, and my mother was too jealous to grant me the permission. My mother also could sing before drugs and alcohol destroyed her voice. She could sing along with Barbra Streisand, and you absolutely could not tell the difference between her voice and the record.

I went into a deep depression for about a year because I wasn’t able to take that opportunity after working so hard. However, I never stopped getting good grades in school because I knew good grades and education were my only chance to do better for myself and my sister. Thank God I had two aunts, my grandmother’s sisters, who wanted me to have the world and showed me what unconditional love was. My aunt encouraged me to join the drama club as well as choir when I started high school because she saw how fearless I was on stage and how much I loved it. She used to say, "It may not be easy for you to get opportunity to be in front of crowds because of your differences' but the world needs to see you on the stage to make a difference on a large scale." Getting the chance to audition for the Tisch School of the Arts in New York City was amazing, and my Aunt put money aside to save up for the train tickets and the hotel as the audition process was a two-day thing. I did my audition in front of a panel of five faculty. I put my whole heart into it, a full portfolio of how I would direct a play by Tennessee Williams.

I was devastated when I didn’t get in, until at the very last moment, a professor who had been on the panel came running out and said, "Please don’t be discouraged, your audition was flawless, logistically the school would be very difficult for you to manage with your wheelchair, the buildings are old, the elevators don’t work and the amounts of snow that we get in the winter are huge. Of course, the rest of the panel will deny this as the reason, but I could not put my head down tonight having you think it was because your audition was not good enough. There are many amazing art schools out there, just put your whole heart in, that’s what matters."

This was the first time I began to understand that my talent may not be enough, so I started studying psychology, and that’s the direction my life took. I don’t regret it at all, because it prepared me for where I am now to use my intuitive/mediumship skills to help people in a therapeutic way. Music was on the front burner again as I started taking art therapy classes and realizing how much music and writing helped people with healing. Getting accepted into the University of Maryland, I wanted to take dance classes as my electives. Of course, the faculty was not happy, thinking I would not be able to show my skills, so how would I be graded? This time I wouldn’t take no for an answer, because it was just an elective class, so I learned dance notation and I could verbally tell the dancers the different routines. At the end, the faculty thanked me, saying that the dancers became better dancers by having to learn to truly listen to verbal instruction of the choreography.

Working as a student therapist as student director of the suicide crisis hotline and going to school full-time in my Master's program was extremely demanding, so to relax at home, I would watch YouTube videos of young singers. One day I came across Jessie J singing "Big White Room." I was one of the first 100 views on that video, which now has so many, but I knew in that moment she would be a massive star. She had edginess of Janis Joplin, the elegance of Whitney Houston, and an infectious, loving quality similar to the energy of Princess Diana even in the very beginning. Eventually, I had to have my thyroid removed because it just stopped working. Once I had that surgery, I was unable to sing the same way again; we now know the collapse of my thyroid was probably the first sign the rare form of cancer I am now fighting that had not been diagnosed at that time. Jessie J’s passion and talent helped me through the sadness of not being able to sing the same; even though I could hear the music the same way and it resonated to my core, I could not reproduce the notes that I heard with the same precision.

In 2010, I lost my job as a counselor due to cutbacks, and I lived on savings as long as I could. When I finally lost my house in 2012 because I couldn’t make the payments, as I was packing up my belongings, Jessie J’s first album, Who You Are, was playing in the background. I will never forget praying to God to give me strength and to keep happiness in my heart even through the darkness I was facing much of the time, sitting alone, packing my belongings for storage because my family had gone to heaven. The one person’s voice that was always there in the background was Jessie’s. Thankfully, I had amazing friends who helped me as much as they could, but late at night, when the tears would flow, it was God, myself, and Jess.

Slowly I began to build clientele by giving intuitive readings, something I had done on the side for free just to help people for years. I began to understand this was God's way of getting me on my life’s purpose to really own the gifts he had given me, because I’m a very loyal person, and otherwise, I never would’ve quit my job to follow the path as a spiritual teacher. Having success, I slowly started building my own business with various opportunities to do readings on stage. Most stages are not wheelchair accessible, and even though I was the entertainment, often I would have to do the readings or inspirational speaking on the ground or floor in front of the stage rather than on the stage. My preparation to get ready for readings has always been listening to music beforehand, music that usually consists of pop, R&B or hip hop, and traveling as far as Australia to study mediumship.

The most recent challenge I’ve had to deal with for the last three years is battling cancer. Thank God for technology that allows me to do readings worldwide by email or Skype in between treatments on the occasions when I’m feeling halfway normal. As usual, whether I’m going into emergency surgery to remove my port because of infection or going in for treatment, Jessie J is singing through my phone. Hearing her voice sing "Conquer the World" even regulated my heartbeat while under anesthesia.

The power of social media, along with the help of another earth angel who is now in heaven named Talia Castellano, who taught me through her YouTube videos how to apply makeup for my public readings and inspirational speaking, led to an earth angel disguised as a record label executive colliding with me. Before losing her battle to childhood cancer, Talia I became friends and when I was diagnosed with cancer three and a half years ago, and she was my counselor even at the young age of 12. Now, I honor her by helping to carry on her legacy and finding a cure for childhood cancer, because after going through this myself, I’m determined no child should go through it! Working her magic from heaven, she helped Jessie’s record label follow me and offer to help me get tickets if Jessie performed in Florida. Not only did I get to go to Universal Studios to see her perform, but I was granted the opportunity to meet her.

On April 9, with a 101 degree fever the whole night before due to an enlarged spleen caused by a buildup of cancer cells, and an infection and pain as a result of the enlargement, I was unable to leave on the three-hour car ride up to Orlando until 12:30 in afternoon. After coming up with a pain medication routine and reclining the passenger seat as far back as possible, we began on the journey to make the ride to Talia’s house, which was about 40 minutes from Universal Studios, where the concert would be that evening. Talia’s sister, Mattia, and mom, Desiree, have become part of my family and a huge support system during my own battle with this beast known as cancer. Therefore, I wanted them to join me in this exciting adventure of meeting Jessie J. My friend Sandra is my sister by choice because she’s been with me through everything: losing my job, losing my house, losing my health, traveling an hour once a week just to bring food because I couldn’t afford to buy any or because I was too sick to make it myself. Sandra is my very best friend, she knows my heart, she knows my faults, she knows my flaws, she knows my happiness, knows my sadness, she knows my abilities and my disabilities, and she loves me no matter what. So she also had to be a part of this is special celebration of life through Jessie’s music.

When we arrived at the house, we only had an hour before we had to leave for the concert, so we quickly got out of the car and Mattia did my makeup while Desiree painted my nails (Talia’s sister is an amazing makeup artist like her little sister Taliajoy18 on YouTube, although, Mattia Joyce, who is also on YouTube, has her own sense of style, her own sense of humor and a talent all her own while carrying on the beautiful legacy of her little sister). Helping me get glammed up is something that comes very naturally to Mattia and Desiree because they continue a program Talia started called Glam Wars, in which they go into children’s hospitals and give makeovers to little girls going through chemo and face painting little boys going through chemo to help them feel more confident and happy during their fight. CoverGirl provides all the makeup for the program since Talia became an honorary Cover Girl on the Ellen show (to find out more about this program, please go to taliaslegacy.org).

Rushing out the door, we headed to Universal Studios, arriving early until we realize how long the customer service line was where we were supposed to pick up the passes to go to the concert. Then I find out Jessie was running late. Before long the show was about to start, so meeting Jessie was delayed until after the show. I began to worry that we might run out of time or maybe it wouldn’t happen, that is, until I reminded myself I had asked Talia to send me a sign that she would be with me in spirit. Days earlier, I asked her to send me a feather representing one of her angel feathers. Hours before the concert, Jessie posted on Instagram a picture of a hummingbird made out of paper or Kleenex held in someone’s hand, but what stood out in the picture was the delicate beautiful feathers that were part of the hummingbird, and I knew that was my sign from Talia.

I sang my heart out to every song, watching Jessie on the big screen because the wheelchair accessible area was pretty far back. When the song "Bang Bang" came on, I got a text saying it was the last song and to start heading over to where we would meet her, so we all rushed over to where we were supposed to meet her before the show. When we got there, there was a young man who said she was meeting us somewhere else. We followed the path through the back ways of the park, and my heart began to pound as I realized how close I was to meeting her, something I wanted to do for years. If I was able to get up from my wheelchair and run, I would have at that moment.

As we approached Jessie, she was seated halfway in her rental car in the passenger seat, and again my brain started thinking, oh she’s ready to leave, she’s going to say hi and take off. This was a huge lesson for me, because fear allows our mind to create a story that is so different from God’s plan. Jessie stepped out of the car, walked over to me and knelt down to be at eye level with me in my wheelchair. I started to cry, and I explained to her it wasn’t because she was famous, it wasn’t because she was Jessie J, tears were flowing because since my family is in heaven, her voice through her music is always there no matter what, and to be in front of her, for that reason, was overwhelming.

I gave her a necklace I designed that is a guitar pick that says "Jessie your music helps me breathe, friends forever" on the front and a music note on the back. I have a matching one that I wear all the time for inspiration, and now she would have hers. Then I asked her if I could show her one more thing? Jessie replied, "Of course you can!" I apologized because I told her it was 17 minutes long, but I wrote a poem using all her song titles from each of her three albums and made a video of it on YouTube. I wrote it when I was very sick in the hospital in intensive care and the nurse told me I should be resting and that it was a waste of time because Jessie would never see it. My dream was for Jessie to see the poem because I have an easier time expressing myself through writing, and the poem embodied everything I wanted to say to her. Jessie sat on the ground, held my hand, and watched the entire thing as the tears just ran down my face as a result of the happiness that was overflowing from my heart and had to come out through my eyes.

Then Jessie and I made a video that I would show the nurse tomorrow when I got to the hospital for chemo. Jessie and I had fun, and she said she did indeed see the poem. I showed Jessie my tattoo and explained why I have tattoos, and that the other person tattooed on my arm is Talia. Jessie said she knew who Talia was and had followed her story. This was the perfect opportunity to introduce her to Desiree and Mattia and explain why I’m so passionate about childhood cancer, since seven children die a day from childhood cancer, 46 children are diagnosed every day with childhood cancer and it is the leading cause of death for children under the age of 15 in the United States. Sadly, childhood cancer still receives the least amount of funding to find a cure, getting only 4% of the cancer research money to understand how pediatric cancer forms differently and come up with treatment options specific to treating childhood cancer. Gold is the color for childhood cancer, and September is childhood cancer awareness month, so I gave Jessie a "fuck cancer" beanie with gold writing as well as shared some other ideas on how to bring awareness to pediatric cancer.

I told her some secrets, like who I have a crush on. I shared other private thoughts and moments for her to carry in her heart for inspiration. I wanted our time together to be one where I could give back to her the best of myself through writing, encouragement, laughter. and inspiration. I knew Jesse J was a special person because I can see people's energy, but she goes above and beyond. She was severely jetlagged and wasn’t feeling well, but she still made time to do a Make-A-Wish meet and greet before the concert and spent over an hour with me after the concert. I jokingly told her I was so relieved she was nice because I wouldn’t have to get my tattoo removed.

She took pictures with all of us and even invited me to see her perform in Miami so she could sing "bald girls" instead of "bad girls" in this song "Bang Bang!" Jessie’s team was trying to arrange to get me onstage with her, but as usual, the stage was not wheelchair accessible. It needs to become a priority that all stages become accessible because as long as they are not, there is an unspoken message silently screaming that people in wheelchairs or with differences do not belong on the stage or a platform to be heard. I completely understand because I’ve dealt with this my whole life. Maybe now that Jessie’s team asked for someone in a wheelchair to be on stage, it will start a small ripple that will change this unspoken discrimination.

Jessie, being the earth angel that she is, kept her word. I just got back from the Miami concert last night and she absolutely did sing "bald girls" during "Bang Bang" as well as took the time to give me one more hug, reassure me that she has my necklace, tell me she loved me, and make sure Sandra and I were all set to get home with the chauffeur her amazing manager Cez arranged when he found out I didn’t have a car to get there. Jessie’s entire team is amazing. Alisha, Jessie’s hairstylist, waited patiently in the car while Jessie and I hung out. Jessie’s manager Cez made sure everything fell into place with perfection and smiled with joy as I met Jessie. They are all kindhearted legends whose shoulders Jessie stands on to spread hope, love, empowerment, fun, and realism with the world. Jessie and her entire team hold a special place in my heart until I see them again, and one day, I dream of writing a song or working on a creative project with Jessie in person or in spirit, however God sees fit. I love you Jessie, Cez and Alisha. I'm forever sending you multitudes of gratitude and carry all of you in my heart.

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About the Creator

Melissa Hevenor The Psychic In Your Pocket

I have been psychic since I was little, by the age of 7, I was also communicating with the departed. I use these gifts to help people worldwide. I am a songwriter, author, screenwriter, and YouTube creator who loves ASMR, music & makeup

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