Now music. Music is how the soul moves. It’s how some people communicate, and it’s even sometimes the only thing two people have in common. Cigarettes After Sex is an American ambient pop band from El Paso, Texas, formed in 2008 by Greg Gonzalez. The band's debut was released in 2012 with the singles "Affection" and "K." following in 2015 and 2016. I was gripped, hooked onto both albums, and I must have been living under a rock since 2008—and if I’m honest I think I was. Back in 2009, a friend told me about this group that he really loved-cigarettes after sex. This was the very year my depression, among other things, decided to kick me while I was down, but depression may have taken over my mind, but it didn’t take over my soul, and when I heard Cigarettes After Sex for the first time, my inner goddess rose from her sweet slumber and I began to feel like me again. My mind cleared after a few times listening to the songs in both albums, and I felt free when I heard them. Now I’m not saying music is the answer for everything or for everyone, but it was for me. This post isn’t about what I went through but more of how I got through the things I thought would break me. With my past questionable and my future uncertain, I really thought that right now, in the present I was going to be able to cope. When you find something your passionate about whether it be a hobby, music or even a person, it really does help numb whatever type of pain your in. Now some reading this might sit there and think “but I don’t want to numb my pain, I want to get rid of it,” but here’s the thing about pain: it demands to be felt. When passion takes over your body and kicks your insecurities out the window, you find that you flourish into who the hell you want to be doing, what the hell you what to do, and that, my readers, is a beautiful thing. My idea of music is not what is latest in the chart right now, not the music everyone is listening to, and not the music you say you like to the boy you fancy just because he likes it...music becomes soul freeing and mind numbingly good when you find the type of music your into and I did! Trust me Cigarettes After Sex will not be for everybody, but it is for me and coming back to the point of this post, it helped me. This time last year I didn’t think I would be able to go in with life, with how MY life was heading, but I took depression by the balls and told it who was boss; Cigarettes After Sex helped me with that. But what I will admit is, I don’t always listen to Cigarettes After Sex. Shock, horror, I know, considering I can’t stop blabbing about them, but it’s true. I listen to Nirvana and Pink Floyd a lot of the time, and I love 60s soul. But I only ever listen to Cigarettes After Sex when I can feel a spiral of depression creep up on me. They may have helped me conquer it, but my mental illnesses still fight back, so sometimes, I have a little cry (well more of a long howl of sadness, LOL) binge-watch a series that has five seasons and 20 episodes per season, until I feel like I can get up out of bed and face the day. I may be able to control my illnesses, but I can’t out run them—and if I’m honest with you, I’m OK with that. My life and all the downs that have happened in it have really shaped me into the person I am today, and I don’t think I turned out too bad. And I have not just Cigarettes After Sex to thank for that but all the great artists I listen to. I thank the people who told me about those grey artists, and I thank mother who (thank god) has the same music taste as me.