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Music Healed Me

My Rocks

BTS (7 Member South Korean Group) 

Park Jimin, Min Yoongi, Kim Namjoon

Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung

I am not sure how to start this because I know the word "clout" has been thrown around lately for lots of people that write about the boys. I have been a fan of the South Korean group BTS since 2013. They were a big part of my world back then, and they continue to be till this day. For six years, BTS was by my side helping me.

BTS is Family.

Did you know that even people you have never met can be family? I cried my heart out after my rape. I lost my sanity, and my desire to live. I had my dog and BTS. My life was crumbling before my eyes. I was making the same mistakes over and over. No one wanted to listen to me, and people told me it was my fault. Very few believed me; the reason, I was not 100 percent sure of who it was. I acted as normal as I could. I cried every day, and eventually, I was numb. I tried to hurt myself many times and tried to find a way to cause more pain to forget it even happened. BTS kept me from becoming a monster. When I stopped crying, I would turn on BTS, and burst into tears. How was I becoming a monster? I hated men, I hated myself, and I used people. I got mad at everything, and drank myself to sleep. BTS helped me stay human; they helped me be who I am today. Honestly, I would have probably killed myself, or would still be living the way I was, hoping for someone to end my life. BTS saved me from that kind of life. I will forever be grateful, because even though I don't know them, I know they care about us (ARMYs).  I run to BTS when I need to think things through or cry. I run to BTS when I feel weak. BTS is my rock, my safe place. The love I have is genuine, and I respect them a lot. 

Thank you BTS!
"Thank you for letting me be me
For helping me fly
For giving me wings
For straightening me out
For waking me from being suffocated
For waking me from a dream which was all I was living in
When I think of you the sun comes out
So I gave my sadness to the dog
Thank you. For being ‘us’ "
-BTS
Save Me

My Second Rock

Halsey

I find it hard to write about Halsey. She is incredible in many ways. Words can't describe her beauty inside and out. I have been a fan since 2015, she is one of the very few women I find inspiring. Music is a big part of my life, and I find it hard to express myself. Music helps me. Halsey, as a woman, taught me that I should not be ashamed of my past. She is my second rock. My family and most friends didn't know what I was going through. I was unable to say anything, I felt like I was bothering everyone with petty thoughts. Contemplating suicide, that was petty? Having anxiety attacks, that was petty? Drinking every night until I passed out, that was petty? There were many nights that I listened to Halsey, and she helped me fall asleep without alcohol or the thoughts of death. I looked at my bottle of anxiety pills and sleeping pills, every night, I wanted it all to end. Not sure, if people will understand the love I have for music. Halsey is someone that saved my life. I am thankful to her for being real, and speaking up for women. I don't think words can ever express how thankful I am,  I'll end up sounding like a broken record if I try.

"I won't take anyone down if I crawl tonight
But I still let everyone down when I change in size
And I went tumbling down tryna reach your high
But I scream too loud if I speak my mind"
-Halsey
Devil In Me

Music

I don't want to offend anyone and say that your favorite artists' music is not genuine. I find these two artists have helped me through many of my obstacles in life. Music means so much more than partying, and talking about booty. If a song can heal you, it has different kind of meaning. I want something I can listen to and remember that it helped me grow. Maybe, I am a little too passionate, or just crazy. Did I ever imagine that they would be the reason I am still alive? No, not even my family tried to save me. Music is the meaning of my life. I will treasure their songs, and them forever. I hope no one is offended. They mean a lot to me. I know it won't be the same for everyone.

Thank you for reading!

PS I never imagined a collab between these two! I am so happy and proud of them. I will always support both!

"Listen my my baby I'm
Flying high in the sky
(With the two wings you gave me back then)
Now, it's so high up here
I want you tuned in to my eyes
Yeah you makin' me a boy with luv"
-BTS
-HALSEY
Boy With Luv
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