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Music is the heart and soul of my life. In fact, I live the majority of my life surrounded by it, and I'm always on the lookout for new things. If you knew me in real life though, you'd realize that I am a massive Olly Murs fan most of all. I have a simple reason for this: most of Olly's songs are sung with emotion, expression, and passion. You can sense the emotion whether happy, sad, or straight from the heart from his songs, and there are a lot of those such as "Dear Darlin" which have very deep meaning for me, while his recent song "Excuses" actually reminds me of me!
Music gets me through my day which can be stressful because every day I battle different issues associated with my mental health, low mood, depression, anxiety, sadness, panic attacks, loneliness, and much more. All the songs I choose reflect the mood I am in, so if I want to dance all night when I'm happy (of which I am known for), then the music will have rhythm, a beat or swing to it, depending on what I want, and if I am emotional, then my music will reflect what I am feeling, and the songs I tend to listen to at that time, remind me of someone I love. "Dear Darlin" is really special to me as it is my song to someone I loved deeply who died in a fire, and to my long lost son who no longer lives with me for reasons I cannot talk about here.
When I listen to music, I like to see how it all fits together. I enjoy working out the different instruments and how they play at different tempos to match the song, I specifically love understanding the melody and listening to the tone of voice for the many different emotions because this helps us to understand the message that is being conveyed to us through a song.
I also love singing too. I was quite a showgirl in my young days, always singing and dancing. I took part in the choir practice at school, and I remember that on the day of my concert, my choir teacher was really upset because I couldn't go. I was one of his best singers and deeply saddened myself because I really wanted to do it. However, I had caught a very serious virus from the drinking water that was infected at my school, my mouth was really sore with ulcers, and I lost a lot of weight from being unable to eat properly. At the time I was out of school for many weeks, but when I did go back, I went straight back to choir practice. In some of the schools I had gone to (there were different schools as we had moved around a bit), I took part in musicals. These were quite big as I loved being under the lights, but I would only do them if I could sing and dance!
I can dance to music all night long. I'm usually the first up when we go to clubs on holiday, and I cannot resist a karaoke either. My friends find this amazing because I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but as I explained to them, music relieves the fear. Of course, I'm a little anxious before I begin. The first time I did Karaoke, I was asked to sing Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone" which has been a favorite of mine since childhood. I knew the song off by heart, but I remember standing there at the microphone, tongue-tied for about 10 whole minutes before I could sing anything!
I would name every song I love in my article, but there are thousands of them and that would fill my entire page. I can say though, that I don't stick to one genre, I like a very wide variety of music ranging back to the classical all the way to today's music. The only problem with having this massive interest, is I haven't found anyone who can match it yet.
I have written this because I want people to see the "real me" that often gets hidden under my mental health. As we speak, I am about to start my singing lessons again, and I'm hoping to learn keyboard which is something I never got the chance to do. I think, if my past friends and family could talk to the many celebrity singers I love, the first thing they would do is talk about my massive love of Olly Murs, and they would tell everyone that I truly was "born this way!"