Original Song "As Seen on TV"

It's only a buck two fifty

Make payments for the next eon

We offer the finest quality

Get it before they're gone

Don't miss the chance of a lifetime

Every one is crafted by hand

You know you can't live without it

Anywhere tween woman and man

We promise we ain't lying

So of course you gotta believe

The truth is as clear as can be now

Cuz it's... as seen on TV

as seen on TV as seen on TV

Do you hear me

Come on now check out the spokesman

Did you catch a snaky tongue

He's tall and he says he's good lookin

Means he wouldn't lie to anyone

When he says the climate's not changing

Southern border has to be sealed

No need to pay attention

Just trust what he says is real

He says that he ain't lying

So of course you gotta believe

The truth is as clear as can be now

Cuz it's... as seen on TV

As seen on TV as seen on TV

Listen to me

Daily tweets go out with zeal

That's the art of his deal

He's makin' 'merica great again saying

Transgender's not real

Don't ask him pointed questions

Or dare quote what he had to say

He'll lie cry deny say it's all fake news

Never happened that way he'll say

He says that he ain't lying

So of course you gotta believe

The truth is as clear as can be now

Cuz it's... as seen on TV as seen on TV

Can you hear me

Why don't you see

outro

As seen on TV

Listen to me

As seen on TV

Do you hear me

As seen on TV

Shut off the TV

SHUT OFF THE TV!!

And now a bit of my story...

I had been away from music for decades. I let depression and deafness steal it away from me. I always kept playing guitar, but just for my own pleasure and a sort of meditation. I just got back to music a month or so ago. It was a situation where some friends that have a band offered me the chance to try one of my own rock tunes at their set break, provided I got my nerve up and was ready and willing. I did and I was. Full disclosure, I am less bothered by making a fool out of myself on a stage than the average person because I am a SAGAFTRA member actress and former comedy improv troupe member with tons of experience on a stage and in front of cameras and I am a nude art model. I am also deaf enough to wear hearing aids though, so the essential element of performing music, confidence, is something I have in short supply because I can't hear myself well enough to know if what I think I am hearing is what the listeners hear, plus I lacked any recent experience.

So, I did the song I posted here, and I was stunned by the crowd reaction! It went so well that I did a second and wound up doing five that day. No one left, more people came and it was electrifying to see people grooving to my music. It was at a fest outdoors. I was hugged for sharing my stuff. One said this song was the wittiest she had heard in years. That was the public premiere of the song I posted here, "As Seen On TV."

Emboldened by that reaction, I played a talent show a week later and again they loved my stuff. Even better, the friend that got me into that show told me that a week later, the people that work there were still going around singing my song. They only heard it once! So does that make me an old one hit wonder, has been? (LOL) Since then I have played a couple of open mics and I went to a songwriter meetup to play it. I thought the meetup was just a casual thing. I was disabused of that notion quickly though. These folks were pretty heavy hitters. Members of BMI and ASCAP and peeps that take their stuff to Nashville and hire the sesh players of the moment to cut their stuff, and folks with albums and album credits. They take turns playing something and then they all critique it. There was some really great stuff played but every song got some degree of constructive criticism which, while not being harsh, still made it clear that there were things to fix. Then it was yours truly's turn. I played and sang, "As Seen On TV," and again was stunned by the reactions. Not a peep about I had to fix anything. They used terms like "gold" and "perfect." I got one minor suggestion about something to maybe consider, but they made it clear that it was not necessary. That was that my hook/title/chorus was perhaps repeated too many times at the end of the verses. Normally I would not have paid much attention, but these are people one should pay attention to. Especially now that I watch the great TV show, Songland on NBC and see how the real pros can change a tiny bit of a tune and make it so much better. After letting it percolate in my sub-conscious for a day or so some ideas popped into my head. They are not in the video though. They are in the lyrics in this post. Where I had four repeats, I changed it to three, three, and two respectively, and I added other lines and an outro to it. I am ecstatic about how much better I think it is. And just moments ago while writing it here I tweaked a couple more words!

I played it on the 4th of July on Boston Common as part of a mass reading aloud of the Mueller report with a local arts org. I will also be playing it on the Greenway in Boston later this month as part of the socially conscious Figment weekend long, arts festival, which happens all over the country. I will also play other original stuff, which also has a message. To think, all this is happening now after so many years away from it and just in a span of weeks, kind of a mind bomb.