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Ridiculous Rap Songs Written by Rural Residents of the Southern United States

Remember Rappin' Duke?

Lets' s face it: rural residents of the southern United States have no business writing rap songs. Although, UGK made some of the most intoxicating rhymes ever, they also made a song called "Muthafucka Ain't Mine". It's one of the worst songs ever made. I can deal with the pimping and pandering, but do it yourself abortions are not a good topic for a song. Another cringe-worthy rap song by a resident of the rural southern United States was called Molly Cyrus. It's a song about a sex crime that targets a celebrity that most likely did nothing to Stitches, the person who decided to make this terrible song. Youtube keeps trying to get me to listen to some song called "City Bitch" by a guy named Minithin. I'm not falling for it People who like "City Bitch" probably listen to white supremacist rap songs. So far I've avoided those but I know they exist. Eminem used to do it all the time. Of course not all rap songs written by rural residents of the south are about such unsavory topics.

The results of making a song about an inappropriate topic can be hilarious.  The Jawga Boyz really took a wrong turn when they decided to make a song called "Mud Jug". It appears to be a commercial for an overpriced spittoon. Evidently, people still chew tobacco in whatever town these Jawga Boyz live in. Another questionable song is by this group is  "Welcome to Jawga featuring Demun Jones. Everything about this song is great except for the refrain which we hear at the beginning of the video while they are showing off their enormous confederate flag. The Boyz inform us that it's not about hate or race. They are simply trying to get paid.  They didn't clarify their views on treason, but that can be overlooked. What is really silly about this video is the failure to fully deliver on the camouflage church clothes.  We get to see D Thrash with his camouflage tie on, but everybody else is wearing work clothes. If you're going to make camouflage church clothes a major part of the song why not have a shot of everybody in church wearing camouflage? 

Sometimes a mediocre group just needs to keep practicing until they get it right. "Life Matters" by Moccasin Creek is a song that tries to make a good point but it just doesn't work.  "Life Matters" may actually be worse than "Accidental Racist" by Brad Paisley and LL Cool J.The song is just way too preachy and condescending, especially coming from some people who made a song called "Porch Honky". Yes, this is a real song. A bunch of social justice warriors from an ATV park decided it was a good idea to make a song about sitting on the porch drinking beer with a raccoon and they called it "Porch Honky". It would be reasonable to assume that they are just rapping ironically like The Rappin Duke, but there is evidence that suggests they are really serious about this rap thing. They showed a lot of improvement when they made "Friends of All Kinds". In "Friends of All Kinds", they really bring home the point the Jawga Boyz tried to make earlier about the Confederate flag not being racist. 

So what other ridiculous topics do rural residents of the Southern United States like to rap about? Let's look at some of the titles "Ridin' High", "Never High Enough", and "The High Life", (presumably all about drugs). "Rollin like a Redneck" (a commentary on stereotypes), "All the Girls Wanna Ride" (clearly about sexual intercourse), "Get Out My Way" (typical toxic masculinity), "I Can't See My Paint Job" ( about being cheated by a contractor), "Willie Nelson" ( a tribute to an influential artist), "Kickin' up Mud" (either about partying or fighting). Then, of course, being rural residents of the south they have the obligatory songs about trucks with big wheels like, "Driving Around Song", "My Truck, Big Tires",  and "54's".  They also have songs about other mysterious stuff like "Duramax", and
"12 Inch lift", and  "No Wait". This whole paragraph has been a lie. These songs are not about varied topics.  It seems that 50% of all rap songs made by rural residents of the Southern United States are really about trucks with big wheels. One song about trucks with big wheels might not be particularly ridiculous but having so many songs about the same topic by the same artist over and over again seems kind of odd but maybe it's all in my head. There are plenty of songs about love, so I guess there's nothing wrong with there being plenty of songs about trucks with wheels so big you need a ladder to get in them. 

What's really ridiculous about this rural southern rap scene is that it pulls off the seemingly impossible feat of being more sexist than mainstream rap.  The urban north has produced Cardi B, Nicki Minaj, Eve, Queen Latifah, L Boogie, Lil Kim, Mc Lyte, Remy Ma, and many more female rappers. There are some great female rappers from the South too, but they mainly seem to hail from urban centers. The only recognizable southern female rapper from a small town I could name without doing research is Missy Elliot. After scouring YouTube I was able to locate only 2 collaborative Country rap songs that featured female rappers.  It's "All Country" by the Moonshine Bandits featured a female rapper from New Jersey, and "Yee Yee" by Home Grown. Only two solo female country rappers came up when I did a search Sara Ross and Roni Poet. I barely even hear any country rap songs with a woman singing the hook. Most of the videos didn't even have whores in them! Many people look down on the hip-hop cliche of scantily clad women showing off their backsides, but at least those girls have some form of participation.  An entire art form devoted entirely to male interest seems like it belongs in another time and place. Modern day America needs to let go of sausage parties and the Confederate flag. 

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