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Some words are wise, some are wacky and some are wonderful—but these words are woeful! Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 stupidest lyrics of all time!
For this list, we’ve looked across all music genres, and compiled the worst lyrics ever penned!
Subscribe to WatchMojo—Ranking Pop Culture Since 2006
#10: “I would be the smartest man, if I was invisible.” “Invisible” (2003) by Clay Aiken
An American Idol turned politician and activist; Clay Aiken might like to think that what he says is worth listening to... And this is probably a lyric he’d rather not have sung! In the world of superpowers, invisibility and super-intelligence are probably two of the more popular powers to boast... But, the correlative link between them is probably pretty slim! We think Mr. Aiken might be trying to take over the world, but he’ll never succeed with logic like this!
#9: “Red solo cup, I fill you up / Let’s have a party, let’s have a party / I love you red solo cup…” “Red Solo Cup” (2011) by Toby Keith
True, this track is more than a little tongue in cheek... But that doesn’t excuse this hopeless hyperbole! It’s amazing enough that a record can be worked out of the humble red cup, it starts to get a little too ridiculous! For Toby Keith there appear to be but three stages to life—fill up, drink up, get loved up! As commendable as that is, you’ve got to hope and assume that they had a few too many when they wrote this song!
#8: “My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps (check it out).” “My Humps” (2005) by Black Eyed Peas
Fergie circa 2005 was a very attractive lady, but with lyrics like these there was only so far our fantasies could flourish! Everyone knows that a little bit of physicality goes a very long way when selling records, but there’s baseness to this line that leaves it lacking in sex appeal... They’re "lovely," right... She’s a "lady," correct... And they’re her... "lumps"? Huh?! For alliterative purposes, the line’s perfect... But in terms of poetic sensuality, seductiveness or sense... We’d rather not "check it out," thanks!
#7: “Me not working hard? Yeah right! / Picture that with a Kodak / And better yet, go to Times Square / Take a picture of me with a Kodak.” “Give Me Everything” (2011) by Pitbull ft. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer
Stupid lyrics surrounded by passable ones are one thing, but to begin the track with a "what did he just say?" moment... That’s never a good move! Pitbull opens a song that promises to "give everything: by giving us this helping of hilarity! Clearly someone scored a contract with the camera company, and clearly that same someone isn’t especially skilled when it comes to writing product placement into a song! To say Pitbull crowbarred this reference into his record would be an insult to crowbars everywhere!
#6: “Love is evil / Spell it backwards, I’ll show ya.” “Space Bound” (2010) by Eminem
Love might be evil, but it’s still not as sinful as Eminem’s spelling! We don’t need you to show us anything Mr. Slim Shady; we’re perfectly capable of working out everything that’s wrong with this lyric by ourselves thanks! Because spell love backwards and you actually get "evol"... Which, if anything, is the prefix for "evolution"... Which, depending on your religious or scientific beliefs, might be considered as one of the most positive theories that the human race has ever come up with. And that isn’t really what Eminem was going for!
#5: “When I was a geisha, he was a samurai / Somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai.” “Your Love” (2010) by Nicki Minaj
Here’s a good idea, let’s pool together all the words we can think of relating to the Far East, and then run through them all in one ludicrously lazy lyric! It seems you either love or hate Nicki Minaj, but either way it’s difficult to defend this particular piece of so-called poetry! A geisha and a samurai might have crossed paths at some point we guess, but would they really have been speaking Thai? Or does the word "Thai" just rhyme well? We probably all know the answer to that!
#4: “Tuck my napkin in my shirt, ‘cause I’m just mobbin’ like that.” “Headlines” (2011) by Drake
Drake is a regular demonstrator of dumb lyrics, but with these words he achieves superior stupidity! By taking us through his table manners and giving them the gangsta treatment, the guy thinks he sounds big, but really, he sounds boring! A laughable lyric that trumps even his most problematic prose; there is no confusion in our minds... Drake deserves to be on this list! And he should count himself lucky (if he can count at all...) that he’s just missed the podium!
#3: “Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. Today it is Friday, Friday.” “Friday” (2011) by Rebecca Black
We’ve all been here, learning the days of the week by singing a snappy little song... When we were about FOUR YEARS OLD!! There are a lot of Rebecca Black lyrics that might have featured on this countdown (in fact we’re pretty sure they all qualify!), but this one really takes some beating! The Black Eyed Peas also tried to belittle us in similar style before, but Black’s brain-dead lyrics are just better... Or worse! Maybe one day she’ll reach second grade, and take us through the seasons of the year, or something!
#2: “If the light is off, then it isn’t on.” “So Yesterday” (2003) by Hilary Duff
A run-through of history’s greatest philosophical statements might include William Shakespeare’s "To be or not to be," Descartes’ "I think therefore I am," Hilary Duff’s "If the light is on, then it isn’t off"... What?? Wait a minute...! Lizzie McGuire might’ve grown up, but she didn’t grow wise, and this one-liner might be remembered for years to come, but for all the wrong reasons! It’s a literal light bulb moment, only the fuse has gone, the power’s been cut and we might as well be walking blindly into brick walls!
But, before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable, or in this case dishonorable, mentions.
- “Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.” “Don’t Trust Me” (2008) by 3OH!3
- “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?” “Firework” (2010) by Katy Perry
- “I’m as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer.” “Rhythm is a Dancer” (1992) by Snap!
- “Fucking magnets, how do they work?” “Miracles” (2009) by Insane Clown Posse
- “Im’a make you my bitch; cake, cake, cake.” “Birthday Cake” (2011) by Rihanna
#1: “New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick.” “Summer Girls” (1999) by LFO
The second opening line to make our countdown, the undisputed stupidest lyric of all time accolade goes to LFO for this LOL effort! In truth, most of the lyrics to this song might have scored top spot, as the band put rhyme very much before reason! New Kids on the Block did have a bunch of hits, and Chinese food might make some people sick, but the two are never ever going to be related, and exactly why they were in this lyric is absolutely anybody’s guess!
Do you agree with our list? Whose stupid lyrics did we skip? For more laughable top 10s published daily, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.