Every 'The Chainsmokers' Song: Worst to Best

I spent a day listening to The Chainsmokers' songs over and over. Not including remixes. This the result. Strap in.

If it's not on Spotify, it's not on the list.

There may also be some playlists I made to go along with the list (at the bottom).

Ooo exciting!

28. "The Rookie"

Spotify plays: ~8 million

We like big build ups with disappoint drops.

27. "Paris"

Spotify plays: ~560 million

It's just shit... It's boring and I don't understand why there's a random bit every now and then that sounds like it should be in a The 1975 song.

26. "Roses"

Spotify plays: ~603 million

Just feels a bit generic and nothingy. Don't like that deeper grunt thing that just turns up randomly.

25. "Last Day Alive"

Spotify plays: ~20 million

Can't decide if I like the vocals or not but again, a bit bland.

24. "Split (Only U)"

Spotify plays: ~40 million

We like big build ups and disappointing drops, now with extra DJ.

I like the music but it builds and builds into nothing time after time.

23. "Don't Say"

Spotify plays: ~28 million

I guess it's fine; there's not a lot going on. Scrap the weird laugh and 20+ seconds of talking at the end.

22. "Until You Were Gone"

Spotify plays: ~75 million

Feels a bit like if "Karmin" went dancey. Fair amount of fun. Like the beat.

21. "Bloodstream"

Spotify plays: ~44 million

Down for the vocals and the general vibe. But the music is a bit empty.

20. "All We Know"

Spotify plays: ~372 million

If this was about half the length, it would probably be a lot higher.

19. "Honest"

Spotify plays: ~48 million

Don't like the talking at the beginning. Other than that it's decent.

18. "Something Just Like This"

Spotify plays: ~747 million

Fells like it lasts forever. It could still be on now.

17. "My Type"

Spotify plays: ~35 million

Great vocals and music, feels just a tad too repetitive.

Yes, I'm well aware they're all fairly repetitive but some of them get away with it.

16. "Closer"

Spotify plays: ~1.214 billion

Hey, let's sing about heartbreak, cities, cars, Blink-182, being poor, roommates, refusal of age and stuff. D'you reckon we ticked all the boxes and made the optimal song? Sweet gimme a billion listens then.

Doesn't mean it's bad but it's not great.

15. "Wake Up Alone"

Spotify plays: ~23 million

I like it, solid vocals and music, and a lil breakdown and the end.

14. "Kanye"

Spotify plays: ~77 million

Fuck you're right, I do wanna be like Kanye and feel kingly and godlike about myself. Now I just feel like jumping around to beat and being positive.

There is a slightly odd 'cut' in the middle of the song, let me know if you hear it.

13. "The One"

Spotify plays: ~131 million

I quite like just listening to Drew. But no one has ever seriously said "fuck it yeah I said it" and not sounded sort of corny and awkward. Anyway, solid vocals, solid music, not 8 hours long woooo!

I'm pretty sure this is around about the point where I'm hype.

12. "#SELFIE"

Spotify plays: ~163 milion

Yeah I know, what the fuck am I doing? I said "Paris" is shit and that "Something Just Like This" is too long and now I'm putting "#SELFIE" in 12th. That's is exactly what's happening. It's just so much fun! I could dance along and recite the woman's lines for hours.

Who goes out on Mondays?

11. "Let You Go"

Spotify plays: ~49 million

From now on just assume I'm singing along, shouting along, whatever I can't sing.

Great vocals. Music I actually wanna dance to and don't get bored of real quick.

10. "Good Intentions"

Spotify Plays: ~15 million

This one just feels like a proper pop anthem. Robbie Williams started singing and then went out dancing or something.

9. "Inside Out"

Spotify plays: ~84 million

I genuinely don't understand the amount of listens "Roses" and "Paris" have. I mean, yeah so they're singles. So is this though and a bunch of others.

8. "Young"

Spotify plays: ~50 million

Ey, he's singing again. I'm aware live he appears to not be great. Doesn't make a difference to the song as a track though.

7. "It Won't Kill Ya"

Spotify plays: ~39 million

Just yes. As you can tell, I don't know shit about music but I can tell you that I like basically everything about this.

6. "Don't Let Me Down"

Spotify plays: ~977 million

Just a good song init.

5. "Waterbed"

Spotify plays: ~26 million

It's so fucking bouncy. Also it's 3am, this is as good as it's getting.

4. "New York City"

Spotify plays: ~43 million

I just keeping singing it to myself at random times. It's pretty chill.

Anyway, while we fill some space, let's talk about the fact I've never paid these people the slightest bit of attention before and during the course of making this unnecessary article I've come across multiple instances of people saying they're misogynistic arseholes. Can't comment much but they seem to have said some dodgy shit and they've also said some shit to course correct. Who knows I don't know them. If they are misogynistic arseholes give 'em a lil bit, they might sort it out. Otherwise we'll just boycott them.

3. "Setting Fires"

Spotify plays: ~116 million

I'm getting into bed so soon, it's so exciting.

I CAN'T GO ON AND ON SETTING FIRES TO KEEP YOU WARM

2. "Break Up Every Night"

Spotify plays: ~58 million

It's all bouncy and singy also:

She's got seven personalities every one's a tragedy

That's a solid sass lyric.

1. "Sick Boy"

Spotify plays: ~35 million (It'll be wrong in a minute because the song's new.)

The only reason I listened to the rest of their music is because I liked this song and then I thought may as well write about it. It's got a Twenty One Pilots vibe about it.

Cool, so yeah, this is the best one, please continue down this route of music. Stop making things that sound like "Paris" and "Roses," stop making nothing songs and sticking big artists in them, keep an eye on your image because apparently a lot of people think your twats.

Also here's why I decided to listen to the rest of their songs.

Feed yourself on my life's work, how many likes is my life worth

Click it, I dare you.

Look, a handy playlist version of the thing you just read. What a shit place to put this. You can still listen if ya want.

I don't know why you need this. Just in case you wondered I guess.

They actually change. Mad.